Online Dating For Dummies
by bethompson95
Summary: Puck and Kurt put their fates in the hands of the experts, and nothing goes quite to plan
1. Chapter 1

As Kurt Hummel looked around his room, he sighed. He was _never _going to get a boyfriend. Five years ago, he had his first crush, Finn, and after he had experienced all the drama between his dad Burt, and Finn's mum Carole, and gotten jealous of Finn, his interest in boys had gone. They really weren't worth the upset. But now, Kurt was getting older, and he was starting to feel lonely. Yes, he had amazing friends, such as Mercedes, and he had the most amazing job and a grand apartment, but what use is a big apartment is you are the only one to enjoy it? He got up from the leather sofa that he was reclining comfortably on, and went and switched on his laptop. He smiled as the picture of his old Glee Club appeared. He tapped his fingers on his desk patiently as he waited for the internet to load, and he quickly typed ".com" into the address bar, and hit enter. The page loaded almost automatically, and Kurt clicked "Create an Account." After he had filled in all the necessary details – and made a few adjustments to his surname - it was time to find his perfect match. He was looking forward to finding someone who may be the love of his life.  
Question after question appeared, on page after page. There were so many questions that Kurt finally lost count. They asked such pointless questions, such as "Which of the following trees would you prefer to rest under?" Did people really mind what the tree was, and seriously, how many people would actually be able to tell this tree from that? However, he put up with them, knowing that there might be a lifetime of happiness awaiting him if he endured it. Finally, the quiz came to an end, and he was ready to find someone who he might end up loving.

Two days had past, and Kurt was getting impatient, waiting for the right guy to appear, and he felt a real need to get out of his apartment. So he grabbed his phone, and sent a quick text to Mercedes, saying "Hey, you doing anything today? 'Cos I really need to get out and go shopping. I haven't bought new clothes in almost two weeks and it is really depressing me! If you're around text Tina and meet me at mine at 2. If not, well hope you're having fun doing whatever, text me when you're not busy." Sighing, Kurt chucked his phone to the side and gazed out of the window.

Then, as he was just about to give up, he found someone. He was called Noah. Kurt laughed as he remembered the guy in Glee Club called Noah "Puck" Puckerman, and wondered if he and Quinn had managed to survive for the sake of their daughter.  
Kurt decided that it was now or never, and so he found Noah's MSN, added him, and waited for a response. He was getting rather nervous as he waited to see if he would accept or decline his invitation. A few minutes later, another contact appeared on his list, and Kurt's heart skipped a beat as a conversation window opened.

"**Hi. I'm Noah. Is this Kurt?"**

"**Hi Noah. Yes, this is Kurt." **He quickly typed**. "I hope its okay that I added you."**

A few seconds passed, and a reply appeared.

"**Yes, it's fine. I was actually just about to add you. I guess you beat me to it. ****"**

"**Yeah, I guess I did. I've never done this before. Have you?"**

"**By this, I'm guessing you mean go onto a dating site, and talk to someone you've never met before? No, I haven't done it either. I was so bored of trying to find the right person that I gave up and decided to put my fate in the hands of the experts."**

Kurt laughed, and replied.  
**"I know **_**exactly **_**how you feel. I have been waiting for ever to find the right guy, but it never happened. So, seeing as we are both new to this, and neither of us really know what to do, I'll start by introducing myself. **  
**My name is Kurt (as you know). I am 23, ****very**** gay, and I love to sing. I have been in a few local musicals, and recently I have managed to get into the proper acting business, and last month I won a competition, and I played Peter in a performance of Bare on Broadway! It was really cool. I guess that's kinda all you need to know."**

"**Wow, you have one good job. So yeah, I'm Noah, and seeing as you didn't tell me your surname, I'm not going to tell you mine. **** I'm 24 and bi, but edging towards gay. I liked to sing when I was at school, but I haven't really sung much since I left. I'm a fireman, and I still live with my mum. It's kinda sad..."**

"**Lol **** I actually lived with my dad until very recently. I didn't want to move out as my mum died when I was 6, and he hasn't found the perfect person yet, so I was worried about him getting lonely."**

"**Aww that's so sweet, but poor you. **** I couldn't imagine having to grow up without my mum."**

Kurt's phone beeped and he swore at it for interrupting his moment of happiness. He unlocked it, and found a text from Mercedes, telling him that she and Tina were waiting downstairs for him.

"**I found it quite easy, but then again, I didn't really know anything different. As she died when I was so young, I don't really remember having her around, so being raised by just my dad seemed quite normal to me. Anyhoo, I'm really sorry but I have to go know, I'm going shopping with some friends. I should be back in a few hours if you're still gunna be here?"**

"**Yeah, I'm not going anywhere today, so I guess I'll talk to you later then. Have fun shopping. Bye :-P"**

"**Thanks. Bye"**

And so, filled with content, Kurt logged off of MSN, shut down his computer, grabbed his coat and bag, and ran out of the door, slamming it behind him. He jumped into the lift, and pushed the button which would take him down to the ground floor. He quickly inspected his already perfect hair in his reflection in the shiny walls of the lift, and was satisfied. When the lift arrived out the ground floor, Kurt waited patiently for the doors to open, and he stepped out, and spotted Mercedes and Tina standing outside waiting for him.  
After a lot of gossip, some big purchases of the latest designer outfits, and a very nutritious meal, Kurt was very pleased with his day, and was now eager to go back home and continue talking to Noah. In a normal situation, Kurt would have told Mercedes and Tina about his new "friend" as soon as he saw them, but this time there was something that was preventing Kurt from telling his best friends. He did not know what it was, but he was certain that it would be better if they didn't know.

As soon as Kurt returned home, he dropped his purchases, and skipped into his kitchen, where his laptop lay, lifted the lid, and switched it on. He was very glad of fast technology, as he did not think that he would cope if it took ages to switch on. He quickly entered his password, and then logged onto MSN. His face lit up with a smile as he was told that Noah was online.

A message popped up almost immediately.

**"Hey. I said I would be here, didn't I?"**

**"Yep, you did, and you have been a very good guy and kept to your word. That is a good way to get people to trust you."**

**"Wow, so does this mean you trust me?"**

After trying to find the right thing to say, Kurt quickly typed,

**"Well, I wouldn't say trust, seeing as I have no idea who the fuck you are, and you could be some random, gay paedophile that likes to stalk 23 year old guys who look 16, but somehow, I doubt you are."**

**"Thanks, I guess? Anyway, so what kinda films you into?"**

**"Urm, well musical things, I like a few comedies, but I'm not into stuff like horror."**

For the next couple of weeks, all Kurt did was spend his time on MSN, talking to Noah, feeling happier than he had ever felt before. Everything in his life was going well at the moment. He had been on Broadway, he had a great dad, amazing friends, and finally those feelings that he had for Finn for all those years in High School had completely gone, and now he felt that exact same way about Noah. It really was amazing how you could feel that way about someone who you had never met, and you have no idea what they are truly like.


	2. Chapter 2

Many weeks had passed, and over that time, Kurt and Noah had gotten to know each other quite well. They knew one another's favourite sport, book, musical, sports team, and everything else that a couple should know about each other. Kurt also found out that Noah had a daughter, but nothing else was said about her. It was a fine summer morning, Kurt was very relaxed, and he was on AIM, when Noah asked something that shocked Kurt.

"**You know what? I think it's time we met. What do you think?"**

"M-met!" stuttered Kurt to himself. He quickly typed:

**"Met? But we've only just started talking to each other!"**

"**Dude, I think you'll find it has been 4 months and 17 days to be precise - not that I've been counting or anything. So I wouldn't say that we've only just started talking."**

"**Are you serious? It doesn't seem that long at all. I guess then it sounds like a good idea."**

"**Well, you know what they say, time flies when you're having fun, and I don't know about you, but I have definitely been having fun."**

"**Yeah, it has been great. So yeah, seeing as we've been talking for longer than I originally thought, when and where?"**

"**Urm, how about the Broadway Reade Starbucks? How close is that to you?"**

"**God, you have no idea how much I love Starbucks, and yeah that ones my closest."**

"**God, me too! People find it really weird how totally obsessed I am with it. You around tomorrow?"**

Kurt sighed, tomorrow was the one day when he definitely couldn't meet Noah, and it is the one day he suggests.

"**You're a bit eager to meet me, aren't you?" **Kurt teased.** "Anyway, I was kinda hoping you wouldn't suggest tomorrow."**

"**Why, you got plans with another guy tomorrow or something?"**

Kurt laughed. That sounded like a better plan than what he was really going to be doing.

"**No, and I'm offended that you would even think I would do that to you. Actually, tomorrow it will be 17 years since my mom died, and I always spend a couple of days with my dad, because it's really hard for him to be alone."**

"**Oh shit man, I'm really sorry. I hope I didn't upset you or anything."**

"**No, its fine, I hadn't told you, so how were you meant to know?"**

"**Still, I'm really sorry. And I don't think that you are the kind of person that would cheat on someone. How long do you think you'll be with your dad? I'm not rushing into it by the way; I just kinda really want to meet you. ****"**

**"I think I'll stay there for about three days, so how's Friday at 4?"**

"**Sounds great **** I'll be there." **

"**Good, but how will we recognise each other?"**

"**That's a good point. By any chance do you know what you might wear?"**

"**Of course I do! I kinda prepared this outfit when we started talking, just in case. Hang on, I'll just find you a picture of what I'm going to wear."**

Kurt quickly sent Noah a picture of his favourite Marc Jacobs coat, told him he had to go, signed out, and went into his room and started to pack his bags, preparing for his couple of days with his dad. He knew he had to limit how many bags to take with him, and after some very hard decisions, he had managed to pack all the outfits he wanted into 1 suitcase and two bags. He might only be going for a couple of days, but Kurt never went anywhere without multiple outfits, one for every possible occasion – he could never tell what was going to happen in these few days. One year, Burt decided that they should spend it all fishing, another he felt the need to make Kurt go to a football match, and unfortunately for poor Kurt, once Burt thought that it would be a good idea to go camping for a bit. So by now, Kurt knew he had to be prepared for every eventuality, as there was no way he was ever wearing his most expensive outfit fishing again, as last time he managed to fall in the lake, and completely ruin his favourite clothes.

Early the next morning, a very sleepy Kurt climbed into his car, setting off on the long journey to his dads. Usually he did this journey the night before, but this year Kurt wanted to spend as long as possible talking to Noah, as he would not get a chance to talk to him again before they finally met.

Two hours and 3 coffees later, Kurt finally arrived at his dads' house. He sat outside in the car for a minute, before finally forcing himself to get out of the car, grab his bags, and walk up the seven steps to the front door. He reached out, and rang the doorbell, and almost immediately, the door opened and Kurt was engulfed by his fathers embrace.

**"Hey dad. Missed me?"**

**"Yes, I've missed you so much. You really need to come up here more often."**

**"Well, how about you come down to me occasionally? You haven't been down for three years ago, and that was only because I was in hospital."**

**"Yeah, I know. But don't you ever want to return to your old home any more?"**

**"Of course I do, but it is such a long journey to do often."**

**"God I've missed you."**

**"I missed you too dad, but you know that these next few days aren't about us. What you got planned for us?"**

**"Well, it's sort of a surprise."**

**"C'mon dad, you know I don't like surprises! Just tell me."**

After a severe amount of begging, pleading and bribery, Kurt managed to find out what Burt had planned for the next couple of days. It turned out that Burt had decided they had done too many of the things that he wanted to do, and so he had bought tickets to see Wicked on Broadway, along with back stage passes. This was for tonight, and tomorrow they would go shopping, and Burt was going to buy Kurt anything that he wanted. Burt wasn't exactly ecstatic about this, but it was for Kurt, and Kurt was the only person in his life that was worth living for, and so he wanted him to be happy as much as possible.  
No-one else seemed to care, they didn't know the pain that he experienced very single night when he was trying to sleep in his empty house. He knew that he should tell Kurt how he was feeling, know that he had left, but he couldn't bring himself to do it, as he was doing so well in New York - he had a great job, and all his friends lived there now, and for the first time in his life, he was truly content.

After an amazing night watching Wicked - and in Kurts case, singing along, and saying all the lines - and a great shopping spree, Kurt and Burt finally settled down on the sofa, watching T.V. and drinking beer. Every year this was when Burt would get the most emotional, and so Kurt was prepared with a box of tissues, and a large box of beer. They sat in silence for a few minutes, and then a loud sob broke it.

**"I'm really sorry Kurt. I know I probably shouldn't be like this after all these years, but I really can't help it."**

**"Dad, seriously, what you apologising for. You have every right to be sad. You've known her since you started high school, and you loved her, if you went upset I would say that there was something wrong with you."**

**"I know, but I feel so stupid sitting here crying, whilst you are here managing to keep yourself together. I mean, I'm meant to be comforting you and saying how everything is going to be fine, not the other way round."**

**"Dad, stop. The last time I cried was when Finn was yelling at me and calling everything in my room faggy. Everyone expresses their emotions differently, you tend to let you feelings show, whereas I try and bottle it up." **

**"I know, I just, I miss her so, so..." **and at that point, Burt found it too hard to finish his sentence, and reluctantly succumbed, breaking down into sobs.

At last it was time for Kurt to leave Burt, and return home, where he would finally get the chance to meet Noah. After an emotional farewell, Kurt climbed into his car, and left Burt on his own again.  
The journey back was slightly shorter than the one going, and by the time Kurt finally arrived back at his apartment, he had just over one hour until he had to leave, to finally meet Noah.

He sent Noah a quick text to say that he had managed to get home, and was still up for tonight, dropped his bags into his room, and went to the shower, to wash his hair, and get the smell of beer off of him.

Finally, it was half three, and Kurt decided that he should go early, just incase Noah happened to be there early as well.  
Kurt looked at his watch, it was 3:55. 5 minutes, just 5, then he would have met the person who meant so much to him, but who he knew so little about.

Noah Puckerman stood outside Starbucks, with a piece of paper in his hand, with a white Marc Jacobs coat printed out on it. He peered through the window, looking for someone sitting alone, in that identical coat. Finally he found it, and he looked to see if he could see the owners face, but it was facing away from the window. He was just about to walk inside, when the person started to turn around, obviously looking for him. Puck gasped as he saw the persons face, the face that he had not seen since high school, the face that he knew so well from throwing the body which that face belonged to in the dumpster every single day, the face of none other, but Kurt Hummel.


	3. Chapter 3

Puck stood there, staring through the window, mouth hanging wide open, gaping like a fish. He was still in shock. Kurt Hummel, the boy that he had bullied so badly throughout high school for being gay and different, was who he had been talking to, flirting with, learning so much about, and, although Puck didn't want to admit it, the boy that he was falling in love with. He knew he had to go in, but he couldn't tell Kurt who he really was; as he had a feeling it would ruin their online friendship.  
Puck pushed open the door, sighed, stepped inside, and walked over to Kurt, and placed one hand on his shoulder.

"Kurt Hummel?" Puck said.

Kurt quickly spun around, obviously expecting Noah.

"Oh My God! Puck? Is that really you? What you doing here?"

"Yep, it's me. I was just walking past with some mates, and I saw you, and I wanted to see if it really was you."

"Wow, it's amazing to see you. How have you been? How's Quinn? You still together?"

"It's great to see you too. We're both good, and no, a couple of years ago there were some complications between us, and we felt the need to split up."

"Oh, shame, you were such a great couple. What happened to Beth?"

"I've got her. Quinn kept her to start with, but when she met a new guy, she fell completely in love. She was so happy, happier than I've ever seen the only problem was he didn't like children."

"God, poor her. What happened?"

"She broke up with him, but I knew how much she missed him, and she was really depressed. It hurt me to see her like that, so I talked to her, and I offered to take Beth, and after quite a bit of talking, she agreed to give her to me. Quinn got back with Mark and they've just got engaged. I take Beth to see her every weekend, and Mark is beginning to actually like her."

"I feel so sorry for Quinn, having to choose between her two lives like that, but when you next see her, can you say congratulations from me?"

"Yeah, of course. So, what you doing here on your own?"

"I'm meeting someone. I guess he's just running a bit late."

Neither of them knew exactly how it happened, but half an hour later, they were sitting at the table together, laughing, and reminiscing about their school years. They talked about what happened to them both after they left school, and how they both ended up in New York. It turned out that Puck had been offered a place on the football team, so Quinn and Beth moved with him, so that he didn't have to be away from them for long periods of time. However, Puck had to be training for many hours each day, and very rarely saw his beautiful girls that he quit and hadn't looked back since.

It took one and a half hours for Kurt to finally realise that Noah hadn't turned up. Or what if he had turned up, peered in through the window, saw him with Puck, and walked off? Either way, Noah hadn't appeared, and this made Kurt sad. He was really looking forward to meeting him.

"Wow, guess I've been stood up."

"Aw, you okay?" Puck quickly put on the role of someone who has no idea. "If you tell me where this dude lives and what he looks like, I'll go punch them for you."

"Honestly, I have no idea where he lives, nor do I know what he looks like. I kinda met him online."

"Wow, Hummel's being adventurous – you do know he could be completely psychotic?"

"Yeah, but I know he isn't, even though I have no idea what he really is like, just from the way he talks to me on AIM, I can tell that he is a very caring, completely sane, human being."

On hearing this, Puck smiled. Hummel thought he was caring. If anyone had told Kurt back in High School that Puck would turn out to be a caring person, Kurt would have told them that there was more chance of Rachel getting a good fashion sense than that ever happening.

Finally, Puck and Kurt decided that it was time for them to depart. They stood up, paid the bill, hugged, and went on their way, Puck walking in one direction, Kurt going the other. He couldn't believe that he had been stood up. Even though he didn't actually know Noah, he could tell that he was nicer than that, he must have had a very good reason for not turning up, but then why didn't he text him to say that he wouldn't be able to get there? As a very sad and lonely Kurt walked to his car, he tried to think up many reasons why Noah had not turned up, and eventually he gave up. It wasn't worth it, Finn was the only boy who was worth the pain, and to be honest, that really didn't end up that well. You couldn't trust boys, they were never organised, and as Kurt had learned tonight, they didn't turn up when you had plans to meet them, and they didn't even bother to tell you.

The next day, Kurt didn't even bother to sign in to AIM. He just sat on his sofa, and he was so depressed that he didn't even sing. 2 days later, Kurt got a text from Noah. It said "Kurt, I'm really sorry about Tuesday, please can you just come online so I can explain? I feel really bad about it. X"

Kurt sighed, after a lot of arguing with himself over whether he should give Noah another chance, he finally decided to sign on, and let him talk. As soon as Kurt signed in, he received a message from Noah.

"**Babe, I'm really sorry about Tuesday. I had to rush my daughter to hospital and in the panic I left my phone at home, and I couldn't remember your number. I really hope you're okay babe, i feel awful. did you think i stood you up?"**

Kurt paused for a minute whilst trying to work out whether Noah really was telling the truth, or if he was just using his daughter as an excuse for not turning up. he then quickly hit himself for thinking that someone would actually do that.

**"Is she okay? I honestly thought that you had stood me up, but it is a huge relief to know that you had a reason for not appearing. But don't worry about me, someone who I was at high school with turned up out of the blue, so just talked."**

**"Yeah she's okay thanks. She managed to get some wall paper up her nose and she couldn't get it out. Typical child really."**

**"That's good. I'm glad she's okay, so do you wanna try the whole meeting up thing again, because I know that I want to." **

Kurt held his breath as he awaited the reply.

**"Yeah, I would really like that. We could do it properly this time."**

**"Cool, 1pm tomorrow?"**

**"Sounds great, I'm looking forward to it, but could we meet somewhere else?"**

**"Yeah sure, how about Columbus Park. You know that?"**

**"Yeah that's fine. So tomorrow, at four, at Columbus Park. Where exactly will we meet each other though?"**

**"How about the entrance opposite Tasty Dumpling? That sound good to you?"**

**"Sounds perfect, well I have to go check on my daughter and then take her to my moms house, where, unfortunately I am staying for the next few days whilst my house gets re-decorated, and due to her failing lack of internet, I guess I'll be seeing you tomorrow. Bye x"**

**"Bye Noah, see you tomorrow, and if you have to cancel, please let me know so I'm not standing there by myself. x"**

**"Sure thing. x"**

To Kurt, the minutes felt like hours, and the hours felt like days, and he thought it was so long since he had last spoken to Noah, and it was so long until he finally met him, yet really, it was just a matter of a few hours. The night went by so slowly, and eventually, at 1-59 am, he drifted off to sleep. His dreams consisted of him at Columbus Park, standing next to a tall, topless, faceless stranger with a very nice body. 6 hours later Kurt awoke with a start. Today was the day, it was finally here, and hopefully this time it would actually happen.

After another painfully long day, Kurt finally jumped into his car a sped off, turning two corners, before getting stuck in traffic. He sat there for 10 minutes, only moving a few metres, and constantly cursing the traffic, and tapping his fingers impatiently on the steering wheel. eventually, the traffic cleared, and Kurt drove off, driving as fast as he dared to, trying to get there on time. Okay, so he didn't really need to speed as he had left half an hour earlier than he really needed, but this is Kurt, and he did not want anything to prevent him from meeting Kurt.

It was 12-57, and Kurt was standing opposite the Tasty Dumpling, checking his phone every few seconds, and looking all around him, trying to find someone who could possibly be Noah. 5 minutes passed, and Kurt was getting worried. What if Noah wasn't going to appear again, and just a few seconds later, his phone rang. Kurt looked at the screen, realised it was Noah, and quickly answered it.

"Hey. Is this you phoning to tell me you're not gunna turn up again?"

"No, I have something to confess. And please just listen, don't interrupt."

"Okay, I'm getting scared."

"Don't worry. So yeah, about last time we were meant to meet. I was there. I didn't really have to take my daughter to hospital. I'm sorry I lied to you."

"What? Why did you not come and talk to me? Please tell me you didn't see me with my friend. I was just talking to him, there was nothing going on!"

"No, I didn't see you with him, I saw you sitting alone."

"Then why didn't you talk to me?"

"Just turn around, and you'll see."

Kurt hesitantly did as he was told, and turned around. Standing just a few metres away from him was Noah Puckerman.

"I did come and talk to you. I'm sorry I didn't tell you who I really was. I was afraid that our friendship would end if you knew who I was, I really am sorry."

Kurt lowered his phone, hung up, and placed it back in his pocket. Puck copied. Kurt slowly put one foot in front of the other, took a small step forward, then another, and finally broke into a run. Pucks face lit up with a smile, and starting running towards Kurt. When they had almost reached each other they slowed down. They were now within touching distance, and Kurt spread out his arms, moved closer to Puck, wrapped his arms around him, stood on tip toes, and pressed his lips onto Pucks, and slowly and sweetly kissed him. Pucks lips were soft, and they tasted of cherry lip gloss. His heart felt warm, and electric currents spread through his body as Puck returned his kiss with passion. Kurt slowly pulled away from Pucks lips, and his bright blue eyes looked up into Pucks dark chocolate coloured eyes, and he melted inside.

"I love you Puck, and I forgive you for not telling me the truth. The wait was totally worth it."

"I'm glad you think so, and the feelings mutual babe. I've loved you since the beginning, and finding out who you were made me love you even more." Puck stood back looked deep into Kurt's eyes once more, and said "I promise to love you forever more Kurt, and I want to be with you."

"That's good, because I want you too."

Kurt sighed, and Puck lowered his lips, and once more let his lips make contact with Kurt's.

Kurt was happy, and Puck was happy, and they had proved that true love really does start with hate.


End file.
